Valentine's Day Notice

Owing to the unruly crowd behaviour and the mad rush observed at my doorstep over the past few Valentine-Days, the following security measures have been decided upon, for the forthcoming edition of the V-Day. They shall be enforced upon every interested applicant without exception. Any candidate found attempting to bend/break away from the security norms mentioned below shall be summarily rejected from the selection procedure.

The norms:

• The selection procedure shall be carried out at the Insitute's Open Air Theatre to avoid conjestion.
• The procedure shall commence at 6.00 PM sharp, on February the 13th, 2007.
• Only the first 800 applicants will be allowed into the theatre, after which the gates shall be sealed. (Entry is strictly of first come first serve basis)
  
• There shall be seventeen parallel counters catering to the applicants, and the applicants are to form single-threaded queues at each counter.
• Candidates can belong to either of the sexes (sex no bar)
• Each applicant is required to be in possession of the following, failing which he/she will be immediately rejected:
  
• proof of age (candidate shouldn't me more than 1.5 times my age)
  
• proof of identity
• an attested proof of NOT having an IQ of more than 138
• proof of devotion (can be a proof of an attempt to suicide, or a proof of resortment to drugs etc.)
• a rose
• a self-composed poem
  
• If female, the candidate must bring certification to the effect of NOT HAVING CLEARED JEE, OR EVEN SECURING A RANK WITHIN 200000
• Candidates will first be required to register at one of the registration desks following which a shortlist will be put up.
• Shortlisted candidateS will be guided to one of the interview panels. (for a max. 30 minutes interview)
  
• Selection will be solely depend upon the interview.
• Clarification for female candidates: brains will NOT be a criteria marked upon (qualification no bar)
• A maximum of 1 (one) male valentine will be accepted.
  
• A minimum of 37 (thirty-seven) female valentine(s) will be accepted.
  
• Candidates must refrain from killing other candidates (though desirable, this norm is not mandatory)
• All candidates must behave in an orderly fashion when His Highness Sir Hansraj arrives.
• Any queries will be answered at the help desk at the theatre

For any clarifications, kindly contact me @
(+91)9932681216