The Ripoff Sync.

So while putting my act together for the interview, I decided to visit the local Salon to get my hair in order. The gentleman who obliged with the snips and tweaks was a very cordial fellow. He discussed the weather, the news, got me a coffee to go with the haircut and so on. Towards the end, however, he decided to do a cross-sell. He unsuccessfully tried to thrust a facial upon me. I gently denied the proposal, citing a hypothetical skin allergy. But Mr. Hairdo decided to pursue it. He whipped out his hand-mirror, stuck it up against my face, and counted out no less than 31 blackheads on either side of my nose. He further went on to hilight 17 pimples dotting my forehead and mentioned that I had an oily skin which makes it notoriously difficult to rip off the blackheads once they take root. I suddenly found myself sinking into a complex I had never felt ever before in life.

I realized I was this amazingly sick looking jackass who hadn't seen the world on the other side of a facial! I meekly asked him how will he make the blackheads go away. 'Simple hai sir, Steam kar doonga, ek hot-cloth place karke thoda antiseptic lagaunga, and phir ek bio-adhesive chipkaa kar kheench doonga.' It didn't sound like the most pleasant of experiences to me, and I promptly suggested that lets leave it at that, and that I'll certainly get back to him after a week. 'Painful nahi hota zyada sir, Ladkiyaan toh frequently karwaati hain, wo toh brows be chhilwaati hain.'

And this, dear friends, was an eye-opener. I, for one, used to think that men visit the parlour once in five weeks and shed some hair off their top... and that women, identically, might be doing the same, possibly once in 10 weeks? But here was this man, who tells me that there's more to it. I enquired with a sis, and it came to pass that Yes, the Woman's visit to the parlour isn't just about the haircut. And immediately several links, as though disconnected elements of a circuit, began to link up and a current ran through me.

What follows assumes that the reader is almost as ignorant a nerd as I am, when it comes to women. If yes, be ready to be overwhelmed by the sheer magnanimity of the tide. Did you know, that Gals actually get their eye-brows ripped off to bring in 'shape'?? And did you know that those skinny gals that wear sleeveless shirts once in a while actually undergo a painful process where hair follicles are literally ripped off their skin on the arms? Bear with me, there's more -- seen that gal in your office who will periodically (and with a very constant time-period) wear that conspicuously short skirt, giving you an eye-full of the (usually)lovely flawless limbs? YES, she's simply breaking even upon that investment she made the evening before at the local parlour, getting hair ripped off all the way down to the shin. So now you know, stupid!

Its been a day of revelations. Started with a non-descript haircut, went on to a realization that I have one amazing black-headed nose, and ended with the breakthrough on the periodicity of the short-skirt-phenomenon that de-eclipses once a fortnight... amazing.