"Kahan chali gayi hai saali khushi"

A conversation with Makdi post-examinations:

Me: "Yaar these exams suck. They don't let you sit down and understand the subject per-se"

Makdi: "Abe you and your subjects are like fuck-buddies. You're not supposed to fall in love. Hell, you're not even supposed to engage in foreplay. Try getting fanciful, and you get it in the rear. Screw your subjects, and move on."

(Makdi the analyst is a peer at IIM Lucknow, and happens to be my college senior from IIT Kgp).

Okay I might be the usual jackass who may not really be the best-fit into a screw-'em-all regime. Fine. No worries. I still do happen to have some key takeaways I'd like to pen down, after having come to the end of the famed term-1 at IIM Lucknow. Here they are:

1. Vendetta: Its a big bad world out there. It gets worse if you think its bad. Assume its rosy, and that you're the king, sweetie...

2. De rigueur: You're there to get your ass whipped. So get it whipped. You may not walk away with accolades and a rank one in class. Relax. Remember, though, that you're here for something bigger than that. Make the most of it.

3. Busy Bee: procrastination isn't the way out here. Attend all classes, and try to listen to what the prof says. Every day must reduce your accounts payable and long term liabilities; it shouldn't add to them!

4. ROI: you've invested two years, have incurred an opportunity cost that can raise eyebrows, and then there's the fee which amounts to a honda city car. Make the most of it all. You're here to learn business. Do NOT treat it as a placement agency. It might be the best way to look at it given the state of affairs, but try not to fall for it. Learn, jackass, learn.

5. Thy Peers: Some of your peers are real gems. They're the people who'll keep their head low, talk less, and know exactly which way they're headed. They're the non-descript kind who may/may-not be on top of the class... but they'll be where they have planned, in the near future. Look out for them. Associate with them. Learn from them. Caution: Look out for lemons too!

6. Forget your past: You might have been an IITian with a 400 odd rank and a notoriously high CAT score. All that doesn't count here. If you're here, you're as well or as poorly aligned to the system as is any other of your peers. Shed thy past.

7. Marks or learning?: Oft spoken dilemma. For a lucky few, the two domains align. For the happier few, marks come, learning they don't consider essential. For the unlucky few (like the intellectually superior being writing this blog), marks don't come. So he fashionably speaks of learning as his intention. Decide which category you belong to, and develop yourself accordingly! :)

8. Proffessionalism: Be particular about what you do, and how you do it. Try not to go the 'get-by-just-like-that' method. It may work for some, but I believe it defeats the purpose. Every presentation you give, should be the best effort you could showcase. And so on with your assignments.

9. Love thy excel, powerpoint and word: I started off the term submitting assignments in LaTeX documentation, but soon realized that word was far better. Stick to MS Office. They're the lords.

10. Regression sells: If you can't do it qualitatively, try regression. That's what they say about prof-pleasing-analyses. Might be true, but as one with a fairly decent numbers background, let me tell you that you need more than regression to get by. When things fail, Try multivariate logistic regressions, and do not discount classification-regression-trees based on pre-specified tree depths! :P :P

To close it out, I'm looking forward to term - 2. I hope I don't have to get ass-whipped as harshly. I propose to stay bullish on learning. I hope it doesn't cause much trouble to my grade card.

Thanks :)

Somethings can put a smile on a face. Especially when they come at the right moment. Thanks :) And wishing you the same.

She

What follows is heavily laden with expletives and may not make for a good read at all. However, it was the best parallel I could draw against my current state of affairs.

"She was the most beautiful amongst them. Her moves enchanted them all. Her smile was the best thing which ever happened to them. Her every move was titillating. Yet she was unaware of them all. She was beautiful, yet unaware. And happily so. She only concentrated on building upon her learnings. She offered the best dance performance each evening, and never cared whether they jeered or cheered. Her own dance is what she loved. And when most left - save a few - her second self would emerge. That which was hopelessly given into serving the pleasurable interests of a sickly few. She pleased them. It was her job to do so. She was, afterall, a prostitute.

One fine evening, she decided it was her time to go beyond the gala evenings. She went out, and explored the world yonder. In the years that followed, her skill deteriorated. She couldn't dance well anymore. Nor could she please the ones who intended to pay. She grew old. Her physique wasn't attractive anymore. So when I, her owner, asked her to dance once again; to get laid with strangers once again; she agreed faithfully. There was a afterall, a time when she danced carefree. And earned shamelessly in lieu of her physique. But dance she could not. And sexual drive she had none remaining. "

Why do I relate this story here? Because I believe that She, the protagonist in the anecdote above, is much like my resume. Your resume. Everyone's resume. There was a time when you added things to your resume. For the love of the activities. Not for how they would show up on an A4 sized paper. That is when your resume was most beautiful. And lovable. You let it off when you went to work. Now you are back, asking a rusty old thing to perform again. You are decorating a dancer well beyond her prime, and asking her to dance again. To get laid again. For sheer transactional interests.

Ask yourself. Is it the same today? Are your skills getting overstretched by the requirement of an extra line on your resume? Is your prostitute dancing with the physique of a 58 year old woman well into her menopause? Go carefree people, do not manufacture your persona to fit an A4 paper. I'm trying hard, but as they say, advice is always easier to deliver than follow!