Two Shoppers and one Male - II

Part 2: Skip to Shoppoholism

(Try reading Part 1 first, to keep with the flow)

If the previously written protest against the vagaries of the Feminine gender are of any consequence to you, I am sure you shall look forth to this write-up too. With the Wait behind me and the ladies securely in my attention, we moved on to a local Hyper-Mart (or Mall if you may). The nearly 107 minutes of extra waiting time had taken a severe gastronomic toll on me, necessitating a quick nourishing food-treatment. So we ate a neat Buffet upstairs, talked a little, and then walked out into the Ocean of Shop-till-you-drop stores.

Now my quests at The Shopping Mall are usually limited to good food, good film and most importantly, lovely flowers to appreciate as they fly by. The good food was well settled in my viscera, good films there were none (the producers' strike) and lovely flowers I had two in my accompaniment. I was rich and content, by my standard parameters therefore. But the ladies were not. And they intended to make good of their visit to The Shopping Mall. Peeping over the balustrade on the highest storey, the ladies undertook a quick aerial reconnaissance: Lovely-M immediately recalled that she had to shop for the evening-dinner function marking the 25th Marriage Anniversary of a friend's boyfriend's parents; and Rare-Flower had her feathers visibly ruffled by what looked like a 'Free Test/Trial and Product Launch' kiosk on the ground floor.

Diligent that they were, in no time it was decided that the 'Free Test/Trial and whatever' must be given its due foremost. And so I next found myself peeking under the hood of the newly launched Mitsubishi Outlander on display, while my accompaniments were merrily busy getting some white gelatinous stuff rubbed onto their forelimbs. There was also a picto-graphic session at the end of it -- the ladies were required to pose one after the other in (what to me looked like VERY GAY AND VERY STUPID) a beautiful manner. The picture would find its way to the cover of a leading indian womens' magazine if they were lucky enough.

Okay, skip to phase 2. Lovely-M suddenly realizes that the shopping for her friend's boyfriend's parents' Anniversary is yet to be inaugrated. A quick budget is frozen upon, after minor deliberations, and the hunt begins. Like a herded sheep, I follow the two pack-leaders as they scamper from shop to shop, intense fury and fuss in abundance all along. The Wall-clock will do justice to the occasion, but what with the color of the wall? Data-insufficient, and pursuit abandoned. Yes! How 'bout Interior decoration equipment? They are usually occasion non-specific, fit well into nice little boxes, and make for a good gift. I chip in at this point with a rather ill-received suggestion that in all likelihood, interior decoration stuff will get passed onto the next occasion without least consideration (read: without even opening the box). After a few more moments of vacillation, the ladies decide to pursue Wallets.

Wallets are non-controversial, useful for a change, and typically can reflect the cost incurred on part of the presenter. The perfect gift, so to speak. So now the ladies make their way to Shopper's Stop, and ask for the whereabouts of the Wallets' Section. They are directed to the second floor, to which the elevator would faithfully take them. The elevator though, to the shreiking ecstacy of the ladies (and to my horror) opens in the ladies garments' section. There are several tattered scantily patched rags hung on hangers all around, and the enthusiasm of the ladies hardly looks like anything abating. The Wallets have, apparently, taken a backseat for now. Thankfully, a few moments yonder, the mission-wallet is resumed much to my relief. The ladies proceed to the next shop, with me in tow. A few deliberations later, it is brought to my notice that the His-Wallet has been frozen, and shall be purchased once the She-Wallet is frozen too.

The hunt for the Her-wallet draws us into the Wills-lifestyle Exclusive outlet, the Arrow's Outlet, and Marks-and-spencers' in quick succession. Shopping women are like sprinters running down the track on steroids. Tiring out is hardly an excuse or a recourse. Anyways, our finale femme-wallet was a rather non-descript looking satin-ish thing in the last store amongst the aforementioned. There was some discontent between the ladies though, on the lack of any partitions in the same; partitions which are so important as to ensure that your lipstick and brow-shades do not mix when either is called upon in dire emergency. Thankfully, there were other considerations which heavily tilted the scale in favour of this piece (things like the brand tag, the lack of time, and an apparent frustration at the 'lack of variety and choice').

So right when I was about to heave a sigh of relief, Lovely-M attended to a phone call from a fellow contributor to the anniversary gift expense. There was some discussion, and I could hear Lovely-M make noises about how drab the choice-list was, and how difficult it was to locate the perfect gift for an occasion such as this. (Mind you, dear reader, we're in one of the best stocked malls the country can offer). Moments later, I learned that the gift-plan had been trashed. Lovely-M rushed to the previously visited Wills-lifestle outlet, flashed her credit card, and bought for herself a very red and very smart wallet. Uncle and Aunty would have to make do with a large bouquet and I presume some chocolates. And your narrator here, one with a feeble woman-intellect, stood stumped.

Try reading Part 3 if you liked this one.