The Broken Rule

We all have those fanciful likings about doing the right things in the right environs and in the right coordinates in space-time. You may love to sleep on a particular pillow, you might love that precise half-cup of tea at that very tea-stall right below your office every morning, and so on. Somehow, there is a comfort factor associated with this obduracy towards certain activities. I just broke one such rule of mine today. 

This rule has to do with attending to mother nature's call -- the one that's more frequent in occurence and less inconvenient to execute. Whenever possible, I try and delay it till I get to a nice place relieve the stress -- and the fluid. Somehow, it gives a sense of comfort not to water public lawns under the clear blue skies with cars honking away along the road alongside. Today, however, saw this rule take a beating. While on way back from work [which sees me travel 53km one way each morning and evening] it had rained all through the day it had been rather chilly. And we all know that of several physical process that get expedited due to chill (such as shivering in case of all, excessive talking in case of women, white noses turning pink in case of the fair-complexioned etc.) one that certainly doesn't fail to speed up is your leakage system. 

I had been noticing the driver push the throttle a bit too generously through the evening. He was putting the vehicle through notorious swerves and jumpy breaks. He seemed quite a bit in a hurry to get over with the employee-drops. So I asked him to go easy, since it would hardly save us 5-10 minutes overall [Sadly the whole universe conspires to prevent any time-arbitrage in your favour, especially during the 7.30PM evening hours]. The driver, upon my suggestion, gave me an classy nasty look, and said, "Bhaiya gajjab jor se pesab laga hai. Idher gaddi rokenge aur chalan ho jayega. Batao kya karein." [Translated -- Sir I'm under extreme pressure to leak my bladder. If I stop here, they'll fine me. Tell me what to do]. Clearly the man had been done in by the chilly weather. But he wasn't alone. Upon his desparate rejoinder, another fellow astronaut suggested that he needed to free up his assets too. To which the driver, obviously excited, took it upon himself to find a place to do the honours. 

Five minutes further, the engines hummed to a halt. And two very frantic people alighted from the vehicle and ran towards that big banyan tree. While at it, the driver turned his head around and asked me why I wasn't joining in. It was, ofcourse, chilly, and I am as ordinary a man as all else. But I was a man of rules, and I smiled and said, "Ab ghar jaake aaram se halka hoyenge sir." [Translated -- I'll go home and easy out dude]. The man smiled, shook his head in a sagely fashion, and said... "Mauka milta hai toh kar lena chahiye... kya pata aage kya hoye." [Translated -- Do it when you get a chance, never know what's in store]. I laughed it off. I was too prejudiced in favour of enjoying the process of relief in my own private jacuzzi fitted gala bath-cum-washroom.

So by the time I got back home some 45 minutes back, the chill had taken grip, and I really needed to free up. I rushed upstairs only to find the door locked, and my McKinsey flatmate conspicuously missing with the keys. Now the locality where I stay is infested with gardens and pruned shrubs and playing kids and fairly big cars in the parking outside. The minimum you can run to find a likely spot is atleast 100m. So I held on, made a few frantic calls, and waited for a good 35 minutes till a friend from office crossed by with the keys. I just drilled a hole through the washroom commode. And the rule's gone. Next time, I shall fire-at-first-opportunity. Never rely on what the future holds for thee.