"Kahan chali gayi hai saali khushi"

A conversation with Makdi post-examinations:

Me: "Yaar these exams suck. They don't let you sit down and understand the subject per-se"

Makdi: "Abe you and your subjects are like fuck-buddies. You're not supposed to fall in love. Hell, you're not even supposed to engage in foreplay. Try getting fanciful, and you get it in the rear. Screw your subjects, and move on."

(Makdi the analyst is a peer at IIM Lucknow, and happens to be my college senior from IIT Kgp).

Okay I might be the usual jackass who may not really be the best-fit into a screw-'em-all regime. Fine. No worries. I still do happen to have some key takeaways I'd like to pen down, after having come to the end of the famed term-1 at IIM Lucknow. Here they are:

1. Vendetta: Its a big bad world out there. It gets worse if you think its bad. Assume its rosy, and that you're the king, sweetie...

2. De rigueur: You're there to get your ass whipped. So get it whipped. You may not walk away with accolades and a rank one in class. Relax. Remember, though, that you're here for something bigger than that. Make the most of it.

3. Busy Bee: procrastination isn't the way out here. Attend all classes, and try to listen to what the prof says. Every day must reduce your accounts payable and long term liabilities; it shouldn't add to them!

4. ROI: you've invested two years, have incurred an opportunity cost that can raise eyebrows, and then there's the fee which amounts to a honda city car. Make the most of it all. You're here to learn business. Do NOT treat it as a placement agency. It might be the best way to look at it given the state of affairs, but try not to fall for it. Learn, jackass, learn.

5. Thy Peers: Some of your peers are real gems. They're the people who'll keep their head low, talk less, and know exactly which way they're headed. They're the non-descript kind who may/may-not be on top of the class... but they'll be where they have planned, in the near future. Look out for them. Associate with them. Learn from them. Caution: Look out for lemons too!

6. Forget your past: You might have been an IITian with a 400 odd rank and a notoriously high CAT score. All that doesn't count here. If you're here, you're as well or as poorly aligned to the system as is any other of your peers. Shed thy past.

7. Marks or learning?: Oft spoken dilemma. For a lucky few, the two domains align. For the happier few, marks come, learning they don't consider essential. For the unlucky few (like the intellectually superior being writing this blog), marks don't come. So he fashionably speaks of learning as his intention. Decide which category you belong to, and develop yourself accordingly! :)

8. Proffessionalism: Be particular about what you do, and how you do it. Try not to go the 'get-by-just-like-that' method. It may work for some, but I believe it defeats the purpose. Every presentation you give, should be the best effort you could showcase. And so on with your assignments.

9. Love thy excel, powerpoint and word: I started off the term submitting assignments in LaTeX documentation, but soon realized that word was far better. Stick to MS Office. They're the lords.

10. Regression sells: If you can't do it qualitatively, try regression. That's what they say about prof-pleasing-analyses. Might be true, but as one with a fairly decent numbers background, let me tell you that you need more than regression to get by. When things fail, Try multivariate logistic regressions, and do not discount classification-regression-trees based on pre-specified tree depths! :P :P

To close it out, I'm looking forward to term - 2. I hope I don't have to get ass-whipped as harshly. I propose to stay bullish on learning. I hope it doesn't cause much trouble to my grade card.